Well, we've hit another bench mark. 16 weeks - Woohoo! As I mentioned in the last post, the appetite is starting to re-emerge, albeit slowly. I only lost two pounds between the first appointment at 8 weeks and our most recent at 14 weeks. Of course it's not healthy to lose weight at all during pregnancy; a two pound loss is pretty small compared to the amount I lost the first time around.
Body-wise, I'm pretty uncomfortable already. Feeling the pushing and pulling of my lower abdomen as it readies itself for baby growth, is a strange feeling. I get a lot of twinges/cramps as my skin stretches and as my uterus expands. I've also intermittently had leg cramps, itchy feet and tingling arms and hands - all normal happenings.
Alongside all of the changes, I've been doing a lot of reflecting. I've been really emotional (also normal) about everything, but especially about Scarlett. It seems that everything she does that makes her seem grown-up has been making me teary-eyed. I almost lost it at parent-teacher conferences because the teacher said that she was sensitive, I cried a lot yesterday when she was sick with a fever and watching her suddenly learn to blow bubbles made my heart hurt! She's going to be a fabulous big sister and we're extremely lucky to have her.
I've also been thinking about some family members that lost their little baby a few months ago. The sadness that I feel for them is overwhelming, although I'm incredibly happy that they had a chance to meet their precious little boy. The strength that they have shown in dealing with such an unfortunate situation has been inspiring. I think about them often.
Lastly, I've been thinking a lot about friendships. It occurred to me that I have an entirely different set of friends during this pregnancy than I did during Scarlett's. The reasons are many and too complicated to delve into, but I really do miss some of my older friends. I don't think I've entirely healed from the heartache of losing a couple of very closer friends due to circumstances that I don't feel are my fault. But, just like Scarlett, I'm super sensitive (and even more so now), so I may be making a mountain out of a mole-hill. I'm extremely lucky to have very supportive friends, some that I've just made in the last few years, that I have reciprocal relationships with. I realize that I have everything I need to make me happy - a loving, supportive husband, a beautiful daughter, supportive friends and family and Lexapro! (Just kidding on the last one - I haven't taken that since learning of my pregnancy!)
As I approach a weekend full of friends and family activities, I'll be thinking of all that I'm thankful for, including this little peanut growing inside of me.
Thanks for keeping up this blog. It's really good to hear what you're thinking. I'm sorry to hear about the shitty doctor's appointments you had. I hope you're feeling a little better about things, now that you finally have been able to find out the sex of the child. We are thinking about you guys a lot and we're glad to know the pregnancy is going well.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading Luis! It's nice to have an outlet, especially about the crappy parts!
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