Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Facing the inevitable

Well, the day has come. The lake has dried up. The cups aren’t runneth over. I have run out of steam. Idioms and cliches aside, the breast milk has come and gone. I shouldn’t have been surprised. I didn’t last this long with Scarlett and my supply has never been strong.

I’ve known that I was getting close to the end for about two weeks. No matter how much water I drink or how regularly I pump, my production was taking a nose-dive. The last few days I only pumped about one ounce per day, which we all know, won’t feed my little piggy!

So… I’m done.

On one hand, I’m sad to be done so soon. I liked the idea of giving Sullivan a little of my milk every day. It made me feel a little closer to him – a little more bonded. I also liked the thought that the little bit of milk that I produced gave us a little bit of savings in the formula department. Formula is insanely expensive and we don’t have the hookup to cheap formula that we did with Scarlett. Things are tight around our house with two daycare payments and all of the formula to buy!

On the other hand, I’m experiencing a new freedom that I haven’t known with Sully. I’m not tied down to anything or any time, which is really nice. I don’t have to shut myself into an empty office at work and spend three 15-20 minute stretches shirking my work responsibilities. I don’t have to worry about the effects of anything that I eat or drink, which means… BRING ON THE MARGARITAS!

So on this day, my first day of not pumping, I both mourn and celebrate. I did what I could for Sullivan and I feel good about it. I may regret this decision once I start to get engorged and sore!


  1. I thought this was really well put, though this isn't an experience I've ever had. I think you've put into words a lot of what Margie thought about and felt as she went through this. Thanks for writing this!

  2. You're sweet Luis! It's all drivel going through my head, but I figure it might resonate with someone!