No news is good news

As the old adage goes, no news is good news. My 34-week appointment today was largely uneventful. Tried unsuccessfully, I may add, to get a good picture of Bacon. He continues to pose with his back to us and his arms covering his face. At this point I’m not sure if he does this on purpose every time he feels that cold ultrasound gel or if he’s permanently stuck that way!

Everything else is normal. Only one contraction I think, and very little swelling. I have had a couple of pre-migraine auras, although they haven’t turned into full-blown migraines. No excess protein in my urine and a steady blood-pressure, so very low chance of pre-eclampsia. I’m also going to hold off going back on meds and see if I experience any more attacks. As with my anxiety, everything is on a wait-and-see cycle.

During my next appointment in two weeks, we’ll do a full ultrasound with the trained ultrasound tech. The hope is that we can not only get a really good size reading, but also some good pictures. My baby book is really lacking! We’ll also be doing a Group B Strep test and a general exam to check my cervix.

Lastly, we're talking about moving the time of the C-Section on March 19th. It's entirely due to scheduling. I don't think I'll be sad if I get to show up at the hospital at 9 for an 11 a.m. birth instead of 5:30 a.m. for a 7:30 birth!

Exciting!

Missing my meds

Within the last week or so I've been experiencing some anxiety. I'm not talking just nervousness; I'm talking the keeping-you-up-at-night type of anxiety that caused me to start taking anti-anxiety medicine about 3 years ago.

When I found out I was pregnant, I tapered off my current medication. I know that there's not a lot of research concerning the effects of Lexapro on babies. While my doctor assured me that if I really needed to be on it (if it were crippling enough without it), things would be just fine; it was enough of an unknown that I passed. As most pregnant women would testify to, it's just better not to take anything that you really don't need. Up until last week, I didn't really feel any anxiety that wasn't considered normal pregnancy nervousness.

I'm really trying to decide now whether I can still get by not having it. I think that I would feel guilty if I started taking it now. I got by for so long without it. On the other hand, I can't handle more sleepless nights of unreasonable worrying. Worrying about things like getting Scarlett's cookie order in on time, whether I'll have time to pack my overnight bag, whether I'll remember to put out fresh sheets for our houseguests during my hospital stay and other silly things. Things that should not keep me up at night, but still did.

On a side note, while I don't have any reason to think that I won't make it to 39 weeks, I'm starting to get nervous about going early. I've realized how little we actually have done in preparation for the baby and how much I've stupidly planned around this date. Here's hoping I make it to the final stretch!

10 Random Things About Me

1. I’m extremely obsessive. Not on the clinical, need to be medicated scale, but enough that it interrupts my daily life. My work desk is usually pretty immaculate. My DVDs are alphabetized, my books are in size order, my underwear is lined up neatly in my drawer, and my clothes are hung in color order – short sleeve to long sleeve. Yet, you can walk in our house and it looks like a tornado just hit it. I’m trying really hard not to pass this unreasonable trait onto Scarlett, though I may have already failed.
2. I’m obsessed with reality television. It used to mostly be limited to MTV shows (The Real World, Road Rules, etc.) but I now watch everything from the RR/RW Challenge to Extreme Couponing to Hoarders to The Kardashians.
3. I’m terrified of not having a close relationship with my kids. I’m not sure why, because I don’t have anything to base it on, but I just am.
4. I’ve never had a career goal in life. I’m not sure if it’s because I could never think of anything that I loved enough to want to do or if I’m just lazy. Even now – I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.
5. I really enjoy entertaining – even though I have a generous helping of anxiety when I do it.
6. I hate milk. HATE IT.
7. I have a major disbelief in organized religion. I don’t agree with most things that most religions preach. Yet, there is some part of me that really wants to join a church and wants Scarlett to be part of one too. Chances are slim that we’ll find one that Ben and I both agree on. Me for the beliefs, him for the historical aspects. (If they’ve persecuted Irish at any point in their history, they’re out.)
8. I’m very needy and have very little self-confidence. I really hate that I constantly seek reassurance and validation from people, even my own family. Lexapro made that a little better.
9. I clean out my ears neurotically. I know it’s not good for me, but if I don’t do it every day, I feel totally gross.
10. My two favorite movies when I was a pre-teen were Cobra and Commando. I still adore watching them!

Less than two months... or even less than that!

I just came back from the OB's office for my 31-week evaluation. (It was supposed to be 30, but got rescheduled.) Everything is going along well, as it should be. Even though my appointment was incredibly short - mostly due to the baby's unwillingness to pose for pictures - I did learn some things.

* The baby is 4 1/2 - 5 pounds right now, which is about perfect. Not overly big as they first thought. I could still have a 10-lb baby, but it isn't looking so right now. We'll get official measurements at my next appointment in two weeks.

*Although I am a normal size, outwardly, my doctor has high doubts that we'll make it to our due date, even moved up to 39 weeks. Due to the shape of my uterus, the position of the baby and history of pregnancies like this, Doc thinks that it's likely that I'll go into labor early. As much as going early appeals to me, I really don't want to.

* I do not have gestational diabetes. Barely. I was two points below the cutoff. I really need to curb my sugar.

* I have a slightly low iron count. It's not surprising, given my intolerance for some meats. Something else for me to work on.

I guess we'll keep on trucking!

Stuff aplenty

We're beginning the painstaking process of sorting all of our baby gear from Scarlett. I knew we had a lot of stuff, but I had no idea it was SO MUCH!

Boxes upon boxes of clothes (mostly pink), bottles, toys, books, odds and ends...

I feel glad that I saved so many things, but exhausted that I still need to go through it!

Proof is in the picture

The picture on the left is me the day before delivering Scarlett via C-Section.

The picture on the right is me now - two months before delivering Baby Bacon.

Wow.

A more restful night

Last night was my first night sleeping upright in the living room chair. I wasn't excited to start this trend and I put it off for entirely too long. I really hate the idea of not going to bed in MY bed, next to Ben, in the room next to Scarlett.

The pain and sleeplessness has gotten to be too much, though. So I gave up and moved to the living room, where I slept upright in our lounge chair, surrounded by pillows and propped on the ottoman. Surprisingly enough, I slept pretty well! I still got up twice during the night to pee (to be expected) and I still woke up a little stiff, but it sure beats the hip pain! Added plus - watching whatever drivel I wanted to as I slept! Only two more months to go!

Although unrelated to this post, I really wanted to post this family photo which my MIL took the day after Christmas. Pretty darn good, I think!